You Need a Champion

Ok, I’m mushing a whole lot of stuff together here…. bare with me, it will all make sense (I hope)!

My work as a songwriter and my dreams for my life are absolutely not seperate from who I am.

See Liz Gilbert’s Ted Talk video “Success, failure and the drive to keep creating” .… she describes this experience perfectly.

I absolutely LOVE Liz’s book “Eat, Pray, Love”. So much so that every time I come across a secondhand copy, I buy it so I can give it to someone 🤣

I’ve watched the movie countless times. COUNTLESS.

I love it for so many reasons, but I think the main reason is that I, like many women around the world, see myself in Liz (played by absolute legend, Julia Roberts).

She realises that she is living a life that she agreed to, but that she doesn’t want. This hurts, and she has to hurt others to extract herself from that life. But, her hope and faith in creating a life that is more aligned to who she is propels her forward. She embarks on a journey of self discovery and, while she falls in love with a man on this journey, the story isn’t at all about that - it’s about coming back to herself.

I especially love this scene in Eat, Pray, Love (at 1:11) where Julia Roberts says to Javier Bardem “I am so sick of people telling me I need a man.” to which he replies “You don’t need a man Liz, you need a champion.”

She’s like “aaaah that’s cool, he sees me and I think he wants to be my champion” and, yes, that IS cool.

And having a supportive partner that champions your success is HUGE. For both men and women.

BUT WAIT (and this is relevant whether you’re partnered, single or anywhere in between)

I recently realised that I was holding on to a narrative that I needed a champion. Like, a partner champion. That I would find that one person who would love me and back me no matter what. I had been waiting for that champion for so long. I wanted him so badly that I even pretended people were champions when they absolutely were not. Remember that line in LET IT BURN “holding on to stories like she holds on to friends” ? …… that’s what I’m talking about. Wanting something SO BADLY that you don’t even realise you’re completely making it up and pretending it exists and just hoping you can will it into reality.

This is HILARIOUS because, when you look at my friends, family and fans, I have a RIDICULOUS amount of champions 😻🙏

And yet, in the quest for the perfect partner that would champion me, I constantly played down my needs, ambitions & self expression in order to try and “get” or “keep” said relationships. I focused on what the other person wanted, in the hopes that they would do the same for me. I championed THEM thinking that, in return, I would be championed.

AND, while I was doing this, I TRULY BELIEVED that I was championing myself. I wrote songs, I played shows, I traveled…. all the things. But I was ALWAYS asking permission before I made a move. If permission was granted, I went forth. If not, I didn’t. And I reckon I was “given permission” about 50% of the time on about 50% of the things.

But I’m not here to shit on all those guys. I’m really not! 💩 And we could talk more for days about gender inequality, conditioning, and the brain and everything else... But, right now, I’m more interested in talking about what I think is THE most important ingredient in enabling me to champion myself.

Everything that I’ve shared with you the past four days has been about letting go of the old to make room for the new; unlearning and relearning; tuning in to yourself; telling the truth and being willing and able to fully self express.

Again, I will state, I am not a professional…. anything! I’m sharing the resources that interest and excite me. I’m sharing my thoughts, my experiences and my truths. Take what you want, leave what you don’t.

In this video with India Arie & Oprah (queens!), India sums up so much of what I’ve come to understand.

She talks about how she used to let ANYONE talk her out of following her intuition.

In Oprah’s words, this means India valued what other people said more than her own voice.

In India’s words, she said she was scared and that she put her mission and passion into other peoples hands, because she thought that THEY knew better than she did how to get her there.

She wanted help to get THERE so she would do what other people said - even when she thought they were wrong - because she had fear, and she thought that she couldn’t navigate her own life.

She says that now she knows that she’s responsible for herself and she CAN do it. She says that, when she’s clear about her intention, the universe rises up to meet her.

I resonate with this SO MUCH.

When I think about what I’ve had to let go of, and what I’m making space for, so much of it comes back to my intuition. Trusting myself. Oh god, I forgot how to trust myself for SO LONG.

But the simple presence of feeling into my body, listening to my thoughts, noticing my reactions and emotions and TRUSTING the messages I’m receiving has been huge. These things are very smart functions inside my body, trying to help me make the best decisions for myself.

It’s not woo-woo. It’s not new age instagram influencer bs. It’s actual science.

Here’s a couple of articles covering some very basics:

The Science of Intuition: How to Measure 'Hunches' and 'Gut Feelings'

The Science Behind Intuition And How You Can Use It To Get Ahead At Work

So how does this relate to being your own champion?

What if NO ONE else could back you more than you can back yourself? What if NO ONE else could know what’s best for you the way you do? What if NO ONE else could speak up for your needs the way you can? What if NO ONE else was responsible for your joy? What if NO ONE else was responsible for your success?

I’m not talking about being an island. We all need people! We’re social animals, everyone is interdependent and that’s an incredibly beautiful thing.

But, for me, the thing I've had to let go of the most is the (false) belief that anyone knows what’s best for me, more than I do.

Actually, I’m CONSTANTLY letting go of this belief. It’s an ongoing practice. Like, daily!

And sometimes I screw up and make below average decisions. But THAT gets integrated and helps sharpen my knowledge and intuition for next time.

And sometimes I have big wins. And THAT gets integrated too.

My brain and body is a beautiful, glorious, integrated, finely tuned machine that’s constantly learning and optimising for the best possible results for future Sam, based on whatever past Sam taught the machine previously.

And, if I can trust present Sam (knowing that she is a result of past Sam and she is creating future Sam) then, in my opinion, that is all it takes to back myself and be my own champion.

And when I’m my own champion, the only other thing I need to do is find people who are on board with MY vision, and who’s vision I am board with, and co-create like the brilliant mofo’s we are 💥