Fight Like A Girl

Ok, bare with me here…. this is still relevant if you’re a guy!

Firstly, hi. That lyrical analysis was pretty in depth and felt very intense for me…. how was it for you? Take a minute to digest that if you need/want…. because this section is pretty big too.

Secondly, remember, I am not claiming to know all the things. I’m not claiming to be anything except a songwriter and a human. I’m sharing the resources that interest and excite me. I’m sharing my thoughts, my experiences and my truths. Take what you want, leave what you don’t.

I had heard of Clementine Ford (and even met her once) before I really started getting into her work. Out of desperation one day, I started a deep dive into her Instagram account.

When I say “out of desperation”, I mean that literally. I was desperately trying to figure out what I’d done wrong, how I’d found myself in this toxic relationship (and stayed. and gone back. and stayed another two years after that) and how to NEVER EVER find myself in that position again.

I’d recently learnt about this thing called “patriarchy” which was, apparently, pretty harmful to both men and women 🤷‍♀️. Because I don’t like reading long dry articles, I turned to Clementine’s bite sized pieces of info on social media to learn more.

Then I read her book Fight Like A Girl.

Then I started listening to her podcast Big Sister Hotline.

Then I started having conversations, and even reading some long, dry articles.

Then I started piecing a whooooooole lot of information together.

Remember how I was talking about Glennon Doyle (day 1), and her book “Untamed”?

Here’s the first line in the descrition on Booktopia:

“Who were you before the world told you who to be? When women learn to please they forget who they are.”

OUCH.

And remember how I was telling you about Brené Brown’s work around vulnerability (aka telling the truth)?

I started noticing how often I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do. Or, I was trying to make some else’s life better, or make someone else happy. I started noticing that I was almost incapable of telling the truth because I honestly believed that there was something wrong with me.

WHY?

Because I had received those messages EVERYWHERE.

Now, there’s a lot of people that check out Clementine Ford and get VERY defensive. She sometimes uses sarcasm and jokes to get her point across and that can get ALOT of peoples goats. She tells some hard truths and it can feel incredibly confronting. For a long time, I fell into the category of people that found her to be “a bit much”.

I can’t remember exactly what it was that made the lightbulb go off in my head, but I do remember that it was along the lines of her pointing out behaviours in men that were abusive that we, as a society, have normalised.

This made me sit up REALLY straight in my chair and do that weird thing with my eyes where they go really wide and look like they’re about to pop out, and I’m unable to blink. And then I put my hand over my mouth because I wanted to scream but I also had absolutely nothing to say because I was so shocked that someone could see so far into my life experience that they saw it WAY clearer than I ever did. You know that feeling???

This started me on a huge (still unfolding) journey that has completely changed the way I look at myself as a human being and woman living in the world. It has shown me SO MANY things I did to win mens approval / love / attraction. It has shown me how I’ve made my voice quieter and taken up less space in favour of men and their voices. It has shown me how much I trusted other peoples (especially mens) opinions over my own. It has shown me how I victim blamed (including blaming myself). It has shown me how mens privilege is used against me, and how my privilege is used against so many other people in the world.

Clementine Ford is not for the faint hearted, and that’s why I love her. She is an advocate for human rights. She works to put us ALL on an even playing field and she outlines how oppression harms not only the oppressed but the oppressors too. She has compassion, and clear boundaries. She will admit when she’s wrong, and she won’t take your shit.